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Picture of Myself with Gun, Raising Concerns about my Mental Health Improving
By Lou Saboter
(don't worry. it's all a joke. Jim Carrey approves of this blog entry.)
Shortly after watching The Matrix, my horrendous slide into insanity began.
Much later, I wrote a blog entry about losing my mind and thinking the government was using mind control on me, although they actually were, and then carrying out a murder-suicide mission due to MK Ultra which left me and all my victims suspiciously alive.
However, real life people in the real matrix didn't think it was a laughing matter, and neither does ABC News. In fact, they're suing my former self as we speak despite his never existing. After that, it gets complicated.
"He was, you know, a normal guy," said his (my) sister, Sharon, "and then he watched that movie and he started saying weird stuff. Like he'd say we were all zombies, but he had removed the splinter in his mind. We tried to get him forced into a mental home by militarized police, but he took off in the night, laughing maniacally, carrying with him a rubber owl."
"People with guns are bad!" said a European guy who just showed up. "In Europe we have no guns. It's great. The government wipes my ass. Guys have sex with each other in public. We worship the demon of our choice, and sacrifice babies. Yay! Happy diversity!"
The next thing his family knew, he was writing blog entries about secret plots and government agencies harassing him. And telling people the Anti-Christ was making himself known to the discerning. And then with the gang stalking, oh vey!
"He even asked if we were in on it," said his mom (my), Glinda. "He said the conspiracy was so big he didn't know who he could trust. And he said the government was using mind control on him. Psychotronic weaponry and subliminal microwave messages. He said he saw owls and eyes on the wall, and felt weird sensations and had fits of rage. Soon, he was wrapping things around his head to block the attacks. He texted me once to tell me it was all the Zionists, backed by the Jesuit Black Pope."
After that, using a single 9mm gun, he went on a shooting rampage in downtown Fort Myers at a kindergarten when a class of 194 children were playing chess. He killed them all, and no one knows what happened to any of the bodies.
"It was like, poof, they were gone," said Office Jim Jones. "Then, we shot Lou Saboter like 55 times as a warning. He kept screaming about the Black Pope being owned by Zionists. Clearly, he needed help."
Jim Jones said this reminded him of Myron May and Aaron Alexis. Both of them claimed that they were victims of mind control shortly before going on killing sprees. Suspiciously, Miriam Carey first and last names didn't start with the same letter, he noted.
Officer Katie Kutter agreed.
"Yes, all that was left was their sandwiches," said she. "In their cute little lunchboxes."
"That's right," I said. "I killed all those kids. Hello. I'm right here."
I waved my arms around and shouted but no one appeared able to see me. At least I didn't post anything like this--
But I did post this.
The names of the children were Andy Aldin, Betty Buster, Carlos Castenada, Den...OK, I'm done with this! This is all make believe! Don't you guys know what's going on!!!!--
They're trying to sell Sheeple Dip Double Plus Good pills. It's a Big Pharma scam, and you have to buy in because of Obamacare!
(dial tone...)
Let me give you one piece of advice. Be honest. He knows more than you can imagine.
